The Start of a Blog
I've never written in a Blog before. I understand it's an open diary for anyone to read... and comment. I dont expect much will happen in my life to create responses, but who knows, maybe someone feels just the way I do, and wants to say "hi". :-)
A little about me, Im in my late 20's, married (only once), I have one child (a boy) from a previous "relationship." I bought my house before I was married, I own a used SUV and work in an office as... (get this) an administrative analyst! Not bad for someone who had a high C, just barely a B average... oh and college... still going (part time, very part time).
Lets see, Um, Im officially overweight - even though four years ago I paid top dollar (for about a year) for a personal trainer to get my butt in gear. And in gear it was!! I was hot, sexy, seductive... a lean, toned woman with dark features, a tan that would last forever, and wits as quick as can be... for the first time in my life, I felt like a woman should feel... powerful! My son enjoyed the positive new mom who took control of her life and made miracles happen... I didnt let anyone take me down - so, when I went to apply for a mortgage, I was in charge... I educated myself with all the terms, wore a business suite to the bank, tons of perfectly applied make up, and I didnt let that man behind the desk intimidate me... needless to say, six months later, I moved myself with my son into our first and current home... Nice...
Then, a friend became more than a friend - he became my lover, then my mate... and the rest is suburban history!! No Sex in the City for me... no no... not even Desperate Housewives... Just really boring Suburban Work-Home-Sleep life... my husband isnt even exciting anymore (and we're in only three years!) My son, who is my motivation, is in need of some of it (motivation) himself. And school work becomes more and more difficult, and I become his lifeline when it comes to homework...
Where did I lose my sense of Female Independence? Where did the mysterious, sexy, latina go? Am I happy with the decisions that I made? Yes... But, I wanted to keep that vivatious attitude that I had, and somewhere along the line I lost the hold of that woman and a new one emerged. A more bland woman with all the right curves, just more than a few sizes too big... The dark features became more like dark circles under my eyes.
I guess this is what my blog will be about... finding a way to find that sexy babe that once ruled her world... I thought my husband was to blame (too easy) it really was me, but what about me!?! Did I become the suburban mom slash wife by accident, or on purpose? And, why the hell did I get married?? I was having so much fun!! Single, experienced, educated - more like street and life smart - mixed with a little bit of book smart, sexy, proud, positive... Im now a shadow of my former self... overweight, depressed, clinging to my youth (even though it was only four years ago, and I haven't hit 30 yet!!)
All I know is that when I turn 30 - I want to be in the best shape of my life, return the sexy b*tch, return the positive and alluring me, and take control of my life and emotions... I want my son to be proud of his mother and think of her as some Greek Goddess (not to be worshipped- but respected for her beauty, her power, her wisdom)... My husband on the other had... he can worship the ground I walk on...!
See you later.
A little about me, Im in my late 20's, married (only once), I have one child (a boy) from a previous "relationship." I bought my house before I was married, I own a used SUV and work in an office as... (get this) an administrative analyst! Not bad for someone who had a high C, just barely a B average... oh and college... still going (part time, very part time).
Lets see, Um, Im officially overweight - even though four years ago I paid top dollar (for about a year) for a personal trainer to get my butt in gear. And in gear it was!! I was hot, sexy, seductive... a lean, toned woman with dark features, a tan that would last forever, and wits as quick as can be... for the first time in my life, I felt like a woman should feel... powerful! My son enjoyed the positive new mom who took control of her life and made miracles happen... I didnt let anyone take me down - so, when I went to apply for a mortgage, I was in charge... I educated myself with all the terms, wore a business suite to the bank, tons of perfectly applied make up, and I didnt let that man behind the desk intimidate me... needless to say, six months later, I moved myself with my son into our first and current home... Nice...
Then, a friend became more than a friend - he became my lover, then my mate... and the rest is suburban history!! No Sex in the City for me... no no... not even Desperate Housewives... Just really boring Suburban Work-Home-Sleep life... my husband isnt even exciting anymore (and we're in only three years!) My son, who is my motivation, is in need of some of it (motivation) himself. And school work becomes more and more difficult, and I become his lifeline when it comes to homework...
Where did I lose my sense of Female Independence? Where did the mysterious, sexy, latina go? Am I happy with the decisions that I made? Yes... But, I wanted to keep that vivatious attitude that I had, and somewhere along the line I lost the hold of that woman and a new one emerged. A more bland woman with all the right curves, just more than a few sizes too big... The dark features became more like dark circles under my eyes.
I guess this is what my blog will be about... finding a way to find that sexy babe that once ruled her world... I thought my husband was to blame (too easy) it really was me, but what about me!?! Did I become the suburban mom slash wife by accident, or on purpose? And, why the hell did I get married?? I was having so much fun!! Single, experienced, educated - more like street and life smart - mixed with a little bit of book smart, sexy, proud, positive... Im now a shadow of my former self... overweight, depressed, clinging to my youth (even though it was only four years ago, and I haven't hit 30 yet!!)
All I know is that when I turn 30 - I want to be in the best shape of my life, return the sexy b*tch, return the positive and alluring me, and take control of my life and emotions... I want my son to be proud of his mother and think of her as some Greek Goddess (not to be worshipped- but respected for her beauty, her power, her wisdom)... My husband on the other had... he can worship the ground I walk on...!
See you later.
posted by DreamWarrior at 1:39 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home