Monday, October 02, 2006

Always Starting Fresh

I occured to me that I dont keep a diary - regardless how many journals are scattered througout my house. I also buy them too. Im addicted to their blank pages and fancy covers. Addicted to the idea that its a fresh start. There here, in these blank pages lay the story of my life. Who I am. Who I want to be. All I need to do, is fill them, and express myself, tell the world how I feel. But I never do. To date I have about 12 journals, all begun, never finished.

Then I remembered... "oh yeah, I have a blog." Which, my last entry was in April 2006 and not even posted... its still in draft. The sadness, is that in reading that draft, it occurred to me that in a year and half, not much has changed. And in that lays my fear. Boredom, Drabby-ness (if thats a word) and contemptment. Maybe that's why my journals are never full. Believe me, its not because Im not emotional or dont have anything going on... I do... boy do I! Im a rollercoaster of emotions wound up in large latin overly passionate woman. A passion that is not full filled in my marriage (that's fo' sure). A passion that IS showered onto my son, my dog, and my home. My job, my art, and NOT my writing (obviously).

So here it is... a fresh start. I hope to write daily (not to add to my already large laundry list of things to do). But to learn and grow. And maybe to find an answer to all the questions that are jumbled up in my head screaming to get out and find solutions.

Chow for now.

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